Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Every once in a while I am reminded of how lucky we are to have such an amazing God. This is one of those moments.

As I write those simple words, I can’t help but feel a sense of abashment at how ridiculous that must sound. As a brother who is studying to be a priest, how is it possible that only “every once in a while” I understand how incredibly lucky I am that God is as he is? Should it not be an ever consuming constant in my life?

So I pose a question to myself: Why does my heart not constantly ache with gratitude over the utter goodness of God? I know it has been different depending on my life circumstances. In my early—and more immature moments—God’s goodness acted as a kind of annoyance, or even a subtle indictment against my own egoistic self-seeking. In this self-absorption, my mind was capable of viewing God’s goodness as a type of tyranny that kept me from a “greater”, if also a darker, happiness.

But what if it was different? What if he was a self-seeking god, and a god of self-seekers?

Now in my more mature years, though I tend to fall back into those earlier misconceptions, the reasons for my lack of gratitude has changed some. I notice now that I often perceive his goodness as a law of nature, as normative as two and two making four. I think to myself, “of course our God is good, as he embodies the essence of the transcendental that is goodness. He is good because he cannot be anything other than pure goodness.” In this “higher reasoning” my mind is capable of viewing his goodness as a lesson in a theology class.

But what if it was different? What if he was good only because he has to be good?

Thus my heart fills with ineffable joy in the knowledge that God is who he is: “A God of justice, who knows no favorites, who hears the cry of the poor and is not deaf to the wail of the lowly whose prayer pierces the clouds and does not rest till it reaches its goal.”

~Michael, Drexel Campus Minister